Warped
by Head Explody
Summary: Something happens and Mulder and Scully are transported to the real world...


Title: Warped  
Author: Me, of course.  
Summary: Something happens and Mulder and Scully are transported to the real world...  
Category: Humor/Parody  
Spoilers: Takes place after the filming of First Person Shooter...references to X-Cops and Field Trip.  
Rating: PG-13 (language)  
NOTE: This is the first of similar stories...the chapters will be next parts, etc.  
  
Chris Carter: And...CUT! Ok, that's it.  
  
There is suddenly a bright flash of light...and it seems that a Gillian clone and a David clone have appeared in front of them, dressed in the same clothes and both looking disgruntled.  
  
David: *To Mulder* Who the hell are you?!  
  
Mulder: Fox Mulder, FBI. Who the hell are YOU?  
  
David: David Duchovny, I PLAY Fox Mulder, FBI.  
  
Scully: *draws gun* Ok, hands on your head!  
  
Chris: What?!?!  
  
Scully: What's going on here?  
  
Chris: I should be asking that! Who are you?  
  
Scully: Dana Scully, FBI. Hands on your head! NOW!  
  
Chris: *feeling threatened by Scully's gun* Ok, ok...*puts hands on head*  
  
Mulder: *to Scully* What's going on?  
  
Scully: This is weird, Mulder. Very weird. Hey, you!   
  
Gillian: What? *noticing that Scully looks just like her* What is this? Where's my lollipops?  
  
Scully: I don't know what the hell this is.  
  
Mulder: *noticing David has sunflower seeds* Those...erm...must me confiscated...*snatches sunflower seeds and starts eating*  
  
Scully; MULDER!  
  
Mulder: What?  
  
Chris: Oh my God! Mulder and Scully must have--  
  
Scully: *points gun at Chris* SHUT UP!  
  
Mulder: *notices Krista Allen, Jamie Marsh, Constance Zimmer, Billy Ray Gallio, Tom Braidwood, Dean Haglund, Bruce Harwood, Michael Ray Bower, Ryan Todd, James Geraldne, John Marrott, and Christopher Ng are trying to sneak away* STOP IT RIGHT THERE!   
All: Erm...eheh...  
Scully: STOP!   
M&S: *realize that this is too many people for them to handle.*  
Scully: *takes out cellphone and tries to call Skinner, but gets an annoying message saying that his number doesn't exist* Damn!  
Mulder: Oh hell, let them all go except those two *pointing at Gillian and David*  
Scully: I guess. GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!  
*Everybody except Gillian and David run away*  
Scully: *takes out handcuffs* We're placing you under arrest for impersonating federal agents for the FBI.  
Gillian: *throws lollipop at Scully*  
Scully: *aims at Gillian*  
Gillian: What IS all this, Agent Scully?  
Scully: I dunno, you tell me.  
Gillian: Nice to meet you, Dana, I'm Gillian Anderson, I play you on TV. You are a character created by Chris--who just ran away--and you are NOT REAL. YOU ARE NOT REAL. Like the character in the game, uh, Maitreya. YOU DO NOT EXIST.  
Scully: The hell I do.  
David: The hell you don't.  
Mulder: *sticks gun in David's face* SHUT UP!  
*takes out sunflower seeds*  
David: Hey, those are mine!  
Mulder: Not anymore.  
Scully: Mulder! Get rid of the sunflower seeds! NOW!  
Gillian: Look, I can even tell you what has happened. Um, a while ago you were on COPS. DAVID and I PLAYED you on TV. *throws another lollipop in Scully's face*  
Mulder: *spits sunflower seed shells in Gillian's face*  
David: Stop!  
Mulder: *spits sunflower seed shells in David's face*  
David: *spits sunflower seed shells in Mulder's face*  
Mulder: *moves so they don't hit him*  
Gillian: Let us go! You go back to wherever you came from!   
Scully: Mulder, maybe we should forget about it. Maybe this is some dream.  
David: Yeah! Yeah! It's a dream! Like when you-we-whatever were buried underground...  
Scully: ...and we were hallucinating.  
Mulder: This is shit.  
Scully: Let's go, Mulder.  
*There's another flash of light and Mulder and Scully disappear*  
Gillian: Did that just happen?  
David: I dunno...HEY! HE STOLE MY SUNFLOWER SEEDS!  
Me: *sees David* *screams*   
David: *runs away*  
Me: *chases David*  
  
Aha, it's my story, I can do whatever I want. ;)   
_--Starbuck--, who just had waaaaaay too much sugar. 


End file.
